So What’s Next?

The project is ending but the story is far from over.  To be honest, I’m relieved. This was a ton of work. I enjoyed the work of course. But I’m also evolving so quickly I seemed to outgrow it before I finished publishing all the episodes. Let me explain with an analogy.  When I first left for my road trip in mexico I brought with me a single fin longboard and two egg shaped mid length board. If you are not familiar with boards, none of these are built for high performance or critical waves. But the more I surfed the more I progressed and I found I wanted a shortboard for more maneuverability. So I traded one of my boards in. But I took way too big of a leap and the board was too hard to ride. So I traded that board in for something in the middle. But then I started surfing different types of waves, bigger and more hollow waves. That called for a gun surfboard. But then I got sick of being beat up all the time so went to surf some point break. I needed a fish surfboard there. My quiver of boards was constantly changing, two steps forward, then one step back. As I progressed or my circumstances changed I constantly needed to change equipment.  And now I’ve both progressed and changed. What I see is still a lot of ego and immaturity in my writing. And I think any writer or creator would say the same about their earlier work. But it … Keep ReadingSo What’s Next?

Scales are for Fishes

One day I took a hammer to my scale. Three weeks later I bought a new one. One day I hid the scale and didn’t get it out for weeks. Then I stepped on a scale at a friends house. I left the party early because I could stand to have my fat disgusting self around happy people. … Keep ReadingScales are for Fishes

I See Dead People

a chill clearly spread from my feet up to my shoulders. I wiped actual cold sweat from my brow. The edges of my vision went black. I took a deep breath and it hurt.
“Yo creo que si.” Carl said in his matter of fact, monotone voice. … Keep ReadingI See Dead People

Stress and Stuff

People keep asking me how I afford what I’m doing, but I’m asking the same question of them.
People keep saying, “It must be nice not to have to spend the majority of your day working.” And I just reply, “It must be nice to own a toaster and a nativity set.” … Keep ReadingStress and Stuff

What’s the Point of Surfing Heavy Waves?

Imagine a lifetime of refusal to let go, refusal to suffer loss. Do we ever experience the depths of soul connection living this way? Do we ever soar?  Or do we just settle for safe subject like the annoying boss and the bank account. Do we come home to the safety of mediocrity day after day only to wake up one day in a hospital bed facing the end of our lives and releasing we’ve never really lived? We guarded our hearts against loss, and we missed out on love, real love. I risk, because I want to experience the grandness of it all. … Keep ReadingWhat’s the Point of Surfing Heavy Waves?