Say No: I want to be more like Carl

Click for part’s one and two of the Carl story

August 2018

After several hours of feasting and drinking I was ready to go home. Carl had stopped drinking a while ago but was still too drunk to drive and Salo was still getting hammered and showing no signs of stopping.

The mechanic noticed how tired I was and lead me into the back of his shop. He pulled out a two inch thick piece of foam and a very dirty beach towel.

“Estás en casa ahora! Esta pura ruida affara, puedes descansar bien con confianza. Estás en casa!”

He was saying I could not rest comfortably, that I could feel like I was at home. He said outside the blasting music was too much noise, because apparently sleeping 20 feet away made such a big difference? “You are home now!” he said over and over. He was so thrilled to offer his hospitality.

I placed the mat on the filthy concrete floor of the mechanic shop, to my left was a pile of old tires with a very distinct dirty tire smell. To my right lay a pile of old bicycles that were apparently being cannibalized for parts. En Casa indeed.

It was 2 am before I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up to wake Carl. He said he was ready to go too. We went to go get Salome, who was completely hammered drunk. He refused to go until Carl threatened to leave without him.

The ride home started quiet. Salome demanded Carl put on music. Carl said he preferred the quiet to concentrate. Salome kept demanding and Carl said nothing. Finally Salo reached from the back seat to try to grab one of the CD’s Carl had in a case attached to his sun visor.

Carl tried to block him, swerved nearly off the road, and Salo ripped the visor right off the roof.

“Fuck!” It was the first time I heard Carl use a different tone of voice. “No tienes la derechas para romper mis cosas! Que Guíe eres? Eres Guia or eres niño?!” (You have no right to break my things! What kind of a surf guide are you? Are you a guide or are you a child?)

It was also the first time I heard Carl talk sternly and the first time I heard Salo shut up.

At last Salo broke the silence, “Cuanto te debo?” as he offered to pay for damages.

I hoped we’d just get home and fall into bed (or technically fall into hammocks) but that wasn’t the case. Salo wanted to keep drinking and was picking a fight with Carl. First he pulled out a kitchen knife and chased Carl around a bit. Carl started screaming which only made him more mad so he pulled out a machete and lunged for Carl.

I did my best to try to calm him down but nothing I said made a bit of difference. I grabbed my phone to take a video. That really pissed him off and he started coming after me. I took off running. I ran until I came to the nearest neighbor’s house. I burst into their palapa crying.

“Someone is chasing me with a machete!” I blurted out in spanish through my tears.

The neighbors told me I could sleep in their bed and they would sleep in hammocks. I woke up just before dawn and thanked them on my way out.

Salo remembered nothing in the morning. But I will never forget the night I got chased by a drunk guy with a machete and slept in a stranger’s home.

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