Category: Confessions

But even as I write this pain shoots, my muscles throb and a tear wets my eye … Keep ReadingPhysical Pain isn’t as Bad as the Story I Tell Myself About the Pain

One day I took a hammer to my scale. Three weeks later I bought a new one. One day I hid the scale and didn’t get it out for weeks. Then I stepped on a scale at a friends house. I left the party early because I could stand to have my fat disgusting self around happy people. … Keep ReadingScales are for Fishes

Dear Hunger:
You’re the worst lover ever. You use me. You want a sensory explosion but you don’t care the cost to me. Crunch, glide, pop, lick, sniff, sizzle. You want to feel! But I want to feel too! I want to feel free. … Keep ReadingHunger is Poetry

Visions of my death, feeling emotions in my hands, viewing my thoughts from outside my brain – Something is happening to me. Something is waking within me. And it is powerful. … Keep ReadingI am Going the a Major Shift in Consciousness

It was just so breathtakingly beautiful. To think, all of those colors are always there but my eyes are just not sensitive enough to see them! … Keep ReadingSeeing More: The Experience that Opened My Eyes

Each tear burned with pain so sweet that I craved more. I cried as my heart once again shattered. And I savored the feeling. I enjoyed every single one of those tears knowing that pain is the mechanism by which we know joy. … Keep ReadingWhy Do I Always End Up with Bad Boys?

But that same red flag is part of the attraction isn’t it? When things get heated and everything feels so heavy, those moments are also feeding my addiction. Clearly I’m addicted to excitement, it’s why I like scary waves. I love the drama. … Keep ReadingThe Best Drugs: Barrels, Mexican food and “Ehem”

But I am happy, right now. Very happy indeed. Is it cool to want more? It is the natural order of the universe to expand, specifically, to expand our level of happiness. … Keep ReadingCould Thinner Actually Mean Happier?

What happened when I stopped doing all the things I felt I should do and instead started doing only the things which I wanted to do? … Keep ReadingI Went Broke, and I Think it Saved My Life

“We are going to need to take out your ovaries and fallopian tubes within the next five years.” The doctor said it so matter-of-factly that I almost choked, … Keep ReadingMy Internal Clock is More Like a Time Bomb

I’m sick of spending every evening alone on social media in my bed. I’m sick of eating every meal alone. I want a partner! But when his dad sat down next to me in tears to describe how happy he was to have me as part of the family, I started freaking out a bit. … Keep ReadingI’m So F***ed Right Now

To those men out there who feel the need to insult me, my surfing, and the places I enjoy surfing, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that our society has taught you that you always need to be superior to women especially in acts of bravery and physicality. You were lied to. Seeing a woman capable of expressing her internal strength reminds you that you’ve been running from your own power. And that is terrifying to you.

And now you men are as scared as we women are mad. You are scared that you might have to be everything you were created to be. You are terrified that if women no longer buy the lie of smallness then you will be surpassed. You will have to open your eyes, get off the couch, shut off the TV, stop complaining and actually wake up.

We are rising up. We are angry. We will not be silenced. And we will keep pulling into closeout barrels even if it makes you uncomfortable. … Keep ReadingHow small do you want me to be?

I think my body is like a scared little feral kitten. She knows she is fierce. She depends on my for her basic needs. But I keep screwing with her. Sometimes I scream at her, sometimes I pinch her, sometimes I refuse to feed her, sometimes I force her to keep eating when she’s already stuffed. … Keep ReadingI’m Having a Fat Day

Puerto is one of the best places on earth to watch high level surfing. But when you are not a high level surfer, taking wipeout after wipeout, Puerto is also humiliating. … Keep ReadingPuerto Escondido is a Show

I have a heart condition. It prevents me from surfing quite a bit. I hate it, I hate it so much … Keep ReadingSCREW IT!