When the Doc Says to Lose Weight

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Intermittent Fasting

Intermittent fasting is something I tried in my diet days. The idea is to allow your body to re-learn how to use stored fat for fuel by removing outside fuel. Essentially you let yourself feel your hunger and decide not to do anything about it.

Sounds like starving yourself right? I’m conflicted. Let me lay it out.

Hunger

My eating disorder voice says hunger is the enemy. Because if I am hungry then I need to eat. And if I eat I will gain weight. I’ve been fighting hunger since I was a child. My eating disorder voice also complements me when I successfully limit calories and awards me mental gold stars when the scale drops.

My journey into awaking is very different. I’ve learned to be so present in this moment that I don’t need to distract myself with the pleasure of food. Intermittent fasting is a tool that asks me to sit with my hunger. The conversation goes something like this.

“I feel hunger, I should eat.”

Should? Let’s explore that. Do I need to eat? No, I could go weeks without eating. Would it be best for my body to eat?”

I actually will be healthier if I drop 10 pounds

And that is where I get a little hung up. The truth is that my dream team of experts (Physical therapist, Physicions, Chiropractors, surf coaches and mentors) have all agreed that although I’m healthy at my current weight (and I look great too, many of them have added) that losing a little weight will help me recover more quickly and become stronger.

But my eating disorder easily gets carried away. If I have permission to lose weight then I’m going to need to be hungry sometimes. Bottom line is that in order to lose weight you have to consume less calories than you expend. And that means you are going to be hungry.

And I am. But I’m not. Hunger used to be painful. It used to feel like a need. Now it just feels like sensation. A sensation I do not need to attach a story to. I don’t fight it. I don’t try to distract myself from the sensation with food. I don’t try to distract with anything. I just feel it, accept it, and get back on with enjoying whatever is in front of me.

9 pounds in 9 days

And I’ve lost nine pounds in nine days. I swear I’m not starving myself. There have been a few occasions where if felt like I needed to eat, it would be a wise thing for my body to eat. But I didn’t. It wasn’t convenient and I didn’t make it a priority. I would be lying if I said the fact that I knew it would help in my weight loss was not in influencing factor in my decision not to eat.

But the fact is in order to lose a pound in a day you have to burn 3,500 calories and eat nothing at all. I’m not doing that. I don’t count calories now but due to years of doing so I remain acutely aware of how much I’m eating. I’d say I’m averaging about 1400 calories per day. I’m not able to be active so I’m probably spending more like 1900 calories. That should equate to about 1 pound of weight loss per week, not one pound per day. Clearly my body is thrilled to have less food and is releasing a lot of unneeded stuff right now.

Overall I feel balanced. My body did not want those nine pounds. I have been working hard to keep them on me, eating well over the amount I actually needed to keep them. There may be a few more pounds to go. My body will let me know. But I am nervous that when my body lets me know I may not listen well. This is new, this whole healthy weight loss thing.

I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. Each morning I wake up and I wait for my hunger to build before I eat. Sometimes I’m sitting with quite a lot of it but still do not feel it is the right moment. If I continue to be aware of when my body really truly needs fuel, and then honor and respect that, I will maintain the absolute perfect body for me. So I will just try to be present and not fear this processes any more than I feared the weight gain process. I will also continue to write honestly about where I’m at and the struggles I’m facing. This honestly will be my safety net.

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